Today, my mom caught me taking a handful of cornstarch from the kitchen, to which her immediate reaction was: “What’s that for?”

I had no time to explain so I just said, “Nothing.”

And she went “Ah, so you’re not sharing your little beauty secret.”

Beauty secret? So now everything I do in the kitchen has a non-food related ulterior motive?!

It got me thinking that I must have a little bit of a reputation for being a hippie health nut. That’s what people think when someone puts a honey mask onto their face because honey is a humectant and has antibacterial properties, right? Or when their toothpaste is some vile green herbal stuff made in Thailand? Or when they don’t use deodorant - they use sunflower oil and baking powder? Or when they stop using the Bench Organics soap because it contains BHT?

Am I a hippie health nut? Is that why I can’t bring my own lunch to work without someone casually asking if I’m vegetarian or if I’m on a diet? (To answer those questions, no! I’m not vegetarian. And no! I’m not on a diet. I lost 10 lbs once and looked right at home with the skinny kids begging on the street. Besides, I still want to be able to donate blood.) Is that why my favorite self-care products are all from Human Heart Nature? (Hey, it’s all-natural, organic and all the proceeds go to a good cause.) Is that why my little sister texts me random questions like “What does Zero Trans Fat mean?” and I actually know the answer?

I’m not exactly the picture of health here. I’m sedentary for at least four hours a day, Tumblr mercilessly pinning me down to the computer. I get psychosomatic illness when I’m stressed, and I can’t even control it. When I do eat meat, I prefer it processed and burnt. My watercolor paints contain pthalocyanides and I don’t really care that they get over my hands all the time. I might be getting myself the ones with cadmium pigments soon, so I expect an early and painful death by cancer some time in the future. Which is acceptable, because cancer in the name of art couldn’t be as bad as cancer in the name of other things, right?

A health nut, me?! Really.

By the way,  the cornstarch? I was running out of my all-natural, organic shampoo and Sherry, my HHN dealer, won’t be restocking in a while so my hair has gone a little oily from my attempts at conserving shampoo. The cornstarch was for my hair.

What?